Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici

Here is how another story goes.

“HELP ME, DAD! HELP ME!!”

Her frightening sound of crying woke me up as if a quick, sharp blade just pierced through my heart. Pain. Intense pain.

This had been happening every night for more than a week. My body was as tired and heavy as a stone. But at this late hour, I had to calm her while murmuring her favorite lullaby I used to sing to her when she was a toddler.

The house was a dark cave at night; I couldn’t even find the switch to the ceiling lights. My hands carefully traveled along the cold walls, dirt-covered wooden shelves, and finally, I reached the door to my daughter’s room. “Click”. I unlocked it and struggled to find my way to her bed in the dimness.

It didn’t take me more than one second to spot her in bed, with her little body shaking uncontrollably. The silvery moonlight shone through the frosty windows and onto her bed, whose shadow fell silently across the room. Outside the house, the storm was roaring. Without hesitation, I darted forward to her, who was still shivering and crying. I put my arms around her shoulders, whispering her name.

She suddenly stopped crying and opened her eyes. Her beautiful, watery eyes. I smiled, “Hey sweetie, dad’s here. You’re safe.” I was ready to sing her back to sleep before I noticed something in her eyes.

Fear.

And the last thing I saw, was a dark shadow of death reflecting on my daughter’s beautiful, watery eyes.

Here is how the story begins.

It was a quiet, rainy night. A cool breeze gently brushed against my face. All I could hear was the soothing splash against the stone ground and over my ebony umbrella, and the steady heartbeat inside my chest. The silvery moonlight lit up the entire surroundings. The world has fallen into a quiescent tranquility. Only the peace was too transient before she agitated my mind.

At the end of this narrow path, on the rock cliff, she was standing motionlessly like a pearl-white marble statue. Her long, satiny frock was waltzing in the wind around her. Her shapely figure was stunning, seductive even, and her skin was pale and waxen. My breath came in shallow gasps. Everything turned into slow motion, and I was irrevocably drawn to this goddess of the moon. I couldn’t tell if she was aware of my presence, until she slowly and gracefully turned around and faced me directly, when time suddenly ground to a halt.

She wasn’t smiling, nor was she crying. I could feel her scrutiny on me, but I couldn’t see her eyes, or her nose, or her mouth, or her ears.

Her face was unvaryingly blank, even smoother than her silky hair.

My world was then filled with shrilly piercing scream of horror.

I was getting kind of emotional when Mr. Toh sang the Chinese song 且行且珍惜. It was such a beautiful yet melancholic poem, and I could feel what Mr. Toh felt about this farewell. I could feel the tears in my eyes. Honestly, I hate such occasions. I hate the moment when we have to say goodbye. Four years ago, I did once, and I was more curious than upset. Now, I’ve changed. We’ve all changed. Part of me is eager to leave for vacation and college, while part of me never wants to leave high school, which has been particularly long and meaningful to me. I’m afraid that once we leave here, we’ll never be able to have those intellectual, or not so intellectual, conversations during meals together. I’m afraid that once we part from each other, we’ll never be able to go shopping or eating or having fun BBQ at the beach together. I’m afraid that once we start our life anew, we’ll never be able to recall the good old times when we got lost in NUS or on some random streets and joked and laughed all the way.

This afternoon, both Mr. Toh and Mr. Ricardo sang better than Jeff Chang and Kelly Clarkson did, and I shall never forget the voices of the two, both of whom have been important persons in my life. It’s inevitable that we’ll part and leave here when the time comes, but we shall remember those important persons and those important moments in our life and cherish them with gratitude.

The Farewell Assembly for the Year 6 only lasted for an hour. Everyone received a graduation token designed by me; I feel proud about this more than I do about my Olympiad medals as no one will care about my winnings in science Olympiads but everyone will carry a key that embodies part of my heart which will make everyone remember our good times together.

Today is Oct 26. Exactly one month from today, on Nov 26, we’ll have our convocation.

For those who’re curious about my design, please read the emcees’ description written by me.

This key adopts the style of a traditional skeleton key. The school logo and the class year are printed on the two sides of the key bow. Our school’s mission: “Pioneers, Achievers, Thinkers & Humanitarians”, are engraved around the cylindrical shank. On one side of the blade, there is the name of the student. On the opposite side, our school motto: Experiment, Explore, Excel, forms an exponential term with the initial letter “e” as the base and the following letters, starting with a big “x”, as the exponent. Above the school motto, there is a simple planetary system model, representing the boundless knowledge of science and universe. Below the school motto, there is an amalgam of various geometric shapes, displaying the beauty of mathematics and the complexity of our world. The key itself symbolizes the knowledge we have gained and the bond we have forged during our four years’ study in NUS High. 

This picture carries a history of various events that we’ve been through together in the past four years. It contains beautiful and bitter memories that we’ll share and live forever. As I glance through the faces, I see stories and characters that uniquely define each of us, and can’t help but wonder: When will be the next time, after graduation, that we can gather like this and take a group picture? What will be missing? What will be new?

I can still recall how curious and excited I was when I first met each of you. There have been good times when we played and laughed together, when we scratched our heads because of the same problems, when we whined about a common deadline. There have also been times when we tried to settle any inevitable conflicts among us. Everything is only natural. But in the end, when we decide to go our separate ways, what memories we’d like to carry with us is a question for everyone to consider.

After all, it’s been my great pleasure to study and live with you through the most exciting and important years of my life. I hope the friendship we’ve forged will last as long as it could.   

At this time four years ago, I stepped out of Changi Airport and into the balmy, rainy night of Singapore. Everything, from weather to transportations to people’s accent, seemed so foreign. Did I fall in love with this place then? Do I now? I honestly don’t know. But it’ll always be special in my heart. It’s been exactly four years; I can call this place Home. My definition of Home may be disputable. But to date, one fifth of my life has been spent here. How can I ignore this simple truth that this place would remember some of the most important years of my life?

I was so young and ignorant when I first came. Bold and curious, I explored the places as if I was the great conqueror. With a bottle of water and a street atlas in hands, I wandered around Orchard Road, Chinatown, Little India, and so forth; I loved sightseeing. I remember one day, early in the morning, I took the MRT to Raffles Place, walked out of the underground station and to the riverside. Sitting on the bank of Singapore River, I enjoyed the cool breeze and gentle sunshine before the temperature ran up later. The riverside had a beautiful view. The museums and galleries were very much in classical European architectural style. The pubs along the riverside were colorful on the outside walls like a rainbow across the water. The sky was clear with fluffy clouds. I stood there still, taking them all in, and lost myself in time.

Four years passed in a blink of an eye. I’m no longer that ignorant boy. This place has changed so much since I came; I’ve changed even more. But there are always some things that never change. Things I believe in. Things I dream of. Things I chase after. Things I strive for.

In 64 days, all the good, old days will only and uniquely exist in my memories.       

Wandering alone under the moonless, rainy sky. This was my mid-autumn night.

After sending a letter to my beloved, I walked out of my room and into the rain. It was a cool, quiet night, the kind of night that I love.

As I passed by the buildings, I saw a cat resting calmly on a bench. Just a few steps farther, a smiling girl was talking into a phone. The children were running around, each holding a candle-lit lantern. I always thought lantern was a strange tradition here since I never saw anyone walking with lanterns lit on mid-autumn nights in China. Apparently this tradition wasn’t from China. Interesting.

I didn’t know where to head to. The supermarket? Perhaps. My store of bread and drinks was running out.

I love Backstreet Boys’ new song “Straight Through My Heart”. It’s a great companion to listen to while walking outside at night. Backstreet Boys' music had great influence on me as a teenager years ago. It introduced me to the music heaven in the West. To this day, they’re still my favorite, and their music means a lot to me.

Today isn’t really the special day. Tomorrow is. Oct 4, 2009. Remember something?

It’s been four years. Four years exactly.

I’ve had three mid-autumn nights just like tonight.

Peaceful. Cool. Quiet. Alone.

It’s almost a deserted place. My Space. It doesn’t mean I’m too busy to update it at all; on the contrary, my final semester has been really dull. But surely this is gonna end in two days, because my NUS module will commence this Wednesday. The module outline, tutorials and past year quizzes have made it clear that this course will be exciting. Haha! I desperately need some fun. Well, identifying peaks on the spectra and guessing the structures of the compounds isn’t nearly as fun as playing with forces and mechanics. Spectroscopy is so far mostly based on conjectures; there’s little certainty, and that occasionally makes me a little frustrated. Let me hope that NMR will make things better.

I bought the book “The Importance of Living” written by Lin Yutang from a book sale last weekend. For a long time I’ve wanted to read Lin Yutang’s work and now I’ve gotten the chance. Lin Yutang is one of the scholars that I appreciate and admire most, for he’s among the few who’ve actually understood the nature of Chinese people and the differences between Chinese and Westerners. I just encountered his pseudo-scientific formula and found it really interesting. According to Lin Yutang, wisdom is the combination of reality, dreams, and humor. And he said the Chinese are sensitive people who see things very realistically and has a good sense of humor. But they lack the ability to dream. Well, he got that right.   

I didn’t update my blog for almost a month. Well, it wasn’t really the most exciting month in my life. It’s become a habit of waking up at 0740 on Sat & Sun thanks to H1N1; the twice-daily (thrice, if on weekdays) temperature-taking exercise can be a little annoying sometimes when I want to enjoy a few more moments in bed. The good thing (and the ONLY good thing) is that I’m able to go down to the canteen and have breakfast on weekends; normally I may make my own sandwiches and milk or coffee. But it’s good to have the slices toasted and spread margarine (I doubt it’s butter.) over them. Just this afternoon, the residence office installed a toaster in every cluster’s pantry. It’s a very cute little white box. I’ll try to toast some slices this weekend.

The school is as it’s been. There’s always a teacher who could make me screaming inside and getting frustrated every year; senior year isn’t an exception either. But I’ve gotten used to self-study after three years of continuous practice. No school on Mon & Tue for the time being. As long as I won’t get the tutorial session for my NUS engineering module to be on Mon or Tue, I’ll continue to enjoy my lesson-less Mon & Tue (or you may call it the extended weekends). I’d like my tutorial to be immediately after the lecture on Wed. That’ll make my week perfect.

My economics class has shrank to an eight-people discussion group if you count our teacher too. I remember when the economics curriculum was introduced in my junior year, the classroom was fully packed with… 30 plus students during the first lesson, I guess? On the second lesson, the number of students dropped drastically to about 20. After a year it became fewer than 15. And now, it can’t even hit 10. I never think of giving up halfway, because not only I love economics, but also I was one of the advocates for introducing it into our school curriculum. Math and science can’t be everything in my life, in the end, for I’ve spent a little too much on them for the past four years.

The Ice-Age 3 was the first 3D movie I’ve ever seen in a movie theater (not count those educational stuff in the museums). It was hilarious; that’s the only word I can think of to describe it. Transformer 2 was a much greater piece than its prequel. Harry Potter 6, well, fairly speaking, it was a great movie, perhaps better than a few previous ones. But the real enjoyment could only be found by someone who has never read the books. I’ve read all the seven books and all six movies, and there are no surprises that can take me off-guard, no emotional moments that make me feel like sobbing, no exciting adventures that really get the adrenalin going. But I believe for the others who never know the story, this movie will be a great experience.

Nah I was kidding about the back-to-school anxiety; I don’t feel any of it now, probably because it’s gonna be the final semester of my high school. The end of my high school. Most of my friends from my former camaraderie entered universities almost a year ago. Now I can have a taste of what ya’ll were feeling then. Perhaps my feeling may somehow differ from yours because we’ve had totally different high school experience. But I think the cores are more or less the same: treasuring the final moments in high school while longing for a new start in college. To me, there’s something more than that: I left a country once, and now I’ll most likely leave another country, again. Moving from place to place isn’t really a good thing, because one has to be constantly seeking for a different sense of belonging and new friendships. Now I just wish the next place I go to won’t be as hot and humid as Singapore.

I’ve finished all the SATs, APs, and TOEFL in this summer. YAY! Now I’ve got no more standardized tests (The next one I’ll have is probably the GRE.). This feels great.

I can choose to enroll in two NUS modules; one is physics and the other engineering. Engineering is my higher priority because I wanna see what it’s like before I actually study it as a major in university. I never know how much the workload of a college module is, so I’m a bit hesitant about taking up both. And this hesitation is EXACTLY the reason why I SHOULD take up both, because whenever I faced such a dilemma, I always chose the TOUGH way. This happened when I was considering math major tracks and economics modules. Unless the timetables clash, I’ll take up two NUS modules.

Transformers 2 is awesome. Now I’m imagining what if either Optimus Prime or Megatron wasn’t revived. If Optimus died and never stood up again, the Sun would be gone and there would be no more Transformers 3; the producers definitely wouldn’t do that. If Megatron kept silent under the deep ocean, well, this Transformers 2 wouldn’t even be produced. So essentially both Optimus and Megatron are the Undead.

Michael Jackson is no Optimus or Megatron, unfortunately. Our King of Pop died of cardiac arrest yesterday. This is sad. Really sad. Michael Jackson has been one of my favorite singers, and his dances completely dazzle me. Despite his probable misdeeds and obsession with plastic surgeries, his contribution to modern pop music is more than significant. And his love for the famished people in Africa shall be remembered and carried. 

5 types of food I love:

1.  Mutton Hot Pot

2.  Beef Stew

3.  Pepperoni Pizza

4.  Chocolate Mousse with Raspberries or Strawberries

5.  Hangzhou-style Xiaolongbao

5 places I want to visit:

1.  New York City, USA

2.  Provence, France

3.  Rome, Italy

4.  London, UK

5.  Los Angeles, USA

5 writers whose books I like:

1.  Nicholas Sparks

2.  Jane Austen

3.  Lin Yutang

4.  C. S. Lewis

5.  J. K. Rowling

5 singers whose songs I like:

1.  John Denver

2.  Celine Dion

3.  Julio Iglesias

4.  Mariah Carey

5.  Whitney Houston

5 actors/actress I love:

1.  Tom Hanks

2.  Nicholas Cage

3.  Al Pacino

4.  Kate Blanchett

5.  Johnny Depp

5 movies I love:

1.  Forrest Gump

2.  Gone with the Wind

3.  Godfather II

4.  Schindler’s List

5.  Titanic

5 things that make me yawn:

1.  A long biology lecture delivered in a dull monotone

2.  Trying to write an essay but have writer’s block

3.  110010010111001… 

4.  A long bus ride after walking for the entire day

5.  After eating too much or drinking a glass of wine 

5 things about me that I want to change:

1.  Less math & science, more social sciences, arts & music

2.  Learn to play guitar in college

3.  Regain my once keen eyesight

4.  More time spent with my family

5.  Further improve my English